Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Of course!!

Chrissy, I'd love to see you and Aaron. I'll be in Philly from July 1 - 6th. I am probably going down the shore on the 6th or so... I don't know if you are free in the week though. I'll probably be back in town on the 10th - 15th if that's any better.

Hope we can make this work out... I miss you!

Monday, June 18, 2007

I'ma comin' home!!! Woohoo!!!

Tomorrow morning I'm getting on a plane to Shanghai. I'll be flying to London to see my Grandfather for one week, then I'm flying to the States. I'll be at Fargus's in the Dirty Jerz for a few days before going to Mast's wedding (which I'm in). Then I'm looking at some peaceful time at home for July 4th, followed by a weekend down the shore with my extended family. I'll get to see the 'rents for a few days before having to fly back to China. All in all I'll be gone about 1 month. I'm happy to be going home, but I'm more happy just to get the hell out of Yantai for a little while!!

Since I only get to see my parents for a few days, I'll be coming back sometime in August, so I'll see all you people then too!!

Messin' with the wrong dude

Apparently some of the Brit-boy kung fu crowd learned a lesson the hard way...

Don't go up to a mafia guy, whose job it is literally to kill people, and spit a mouthful of chewed peanuts on his shirt.

Some simple math:

1 mouthful of chewed up peanuts + 1 angry Chinese mafia capo + 1 phone call = 10 mafia guys with machetes and 5 badly beaten & bruised Brit-boys

They are so very, very lucky that for some reason the machetes stayed sheathed.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Coxian list

This is from my friend, Crazy Ben. When Ben's not living in China, he's living under a bridge, somewhere in Maine. All of the below is his work... I felt the need to share.

As my time in China is coming to an end I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on how I have changed over the last year, and watching a lot of Scrubs. So here is my list of things that no longer surprise me.

Kids making out in the bushes.

People almost getting hit by cars.

Cars getting hit by cars.

Being on a bus that hits a car.

Children shitting in the street.

Old people shitting in the street.

Smelling shit every where I go.


Dogs with out leashes.

Dogs with out owners.

Feral dogs.

Feral cats.


Drunk Chinese people before 5pm.

Knife fights.

Cops with their lights on being passed.

Cops with their lights on being passed in the break down lane.

People driving the wrong way down one way streets.

Russian girls.

Fire works at any time of the day or night on any day or night for god knows what reason.

Getting things for free because I am white.

Paying twice as much for things because I am white.

People who say, "Hello" then laugh.

Children staring and pointing at the white guy.

Adults staring and pointing at the white guy.

Barber shops that sound like dance clubs.

Chinese girls with mullets.

Shirts that have English phrases that don't mean anything.

Being told I am cool by anyone who notices anything not Chinese about my clothes.

Students asking why Jack's eyes aren't blue.

Pot bellied men with their shirts tucked up under their armpits.

Men cuddling on the bus.

Getting groped at by overly friendly Chinese guys.

Seeing Chinese girls get groped at because that is actually a substitute for bar conversation.

The "lets see what you are working with" look-over at the urinal.

The quarter inch of urine on the floor in any public restroom.

Anyone from another English speaking country using made up non-sense words.

Girls holding hands.

Guys holding hands (added by Nick).

Four people on a moterscooter with four 25 foot lengths of pipe driving though heavy traffic.

Secret doors.

Not knowing if someone is hungry or angry with you.

Russian Girls.

Chinese Doctors (though Jack will always fear them)

Pet stores and restaurants being one and the same.

Being encouraged, by everyone, to sleep with girls who are under 18.

Being encouraged to sleep with students.

Being told you are some ones favorite person to dance with.

Being told someone will not ever dance with you because you dance like a jackass.

Welding in public.

Welding with no eye protection.

Bear Face.

Oh, and Hugh Jackman.

(Nick fully understands that his readers will not understand the last two lines of this post, unless of course you are living in Yantai and have frequented "Bear Face". No, I will not explain further.

Canis lupus familiaris

So, I had dog for dinner tonight...

'nuff said.

German Shepherd to be precise... yes, I feel guilty.

Yes, it tasted good... much like lamb.

I can never watch Turner & Hooch again. Damn you, Tom Hanks, damn you.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Airport Security...

We went to the airport today to pick up my boss who has not been here for nearly 10 months. After the plane landed, he was waiting for the baggage to come through the baggage claim... we could see him standing there waiting.

The Chinese president pulled aside one of the police officers patrolling the airport and asked him to give him his ID badge so that he could go through the security screening and help my boss carry the luggage.

The police officer gave it to him without hesitation and allowed him to go through to the other side. Guy didn't even stick around to make sure he got his ID badge back.

Yay, security.

Well, that marks 7 dead people I've seen in less that 2 years in China. Guy on a motorcycle totally got creamed by a car on the highway.

Part of me wants to ask, "Why doesn't this stuff happen in the US as often as it happens here?" And then I remember that Chinese people are the worst drivers I've ever seen in my life, living up to every stereotype imaginable, and never obey any traffic laws (not that they have that many here to begin with).


I love the random things you run across living in a foreign country...

I was in a cab tonight, on my way home, when the taxi driver pushed a button on the dashboard. A small TV screen extended from the radio and started to play a promotional tourism video about our wonderful city of Yantai.

It took me about three seconds to realize that it was my friend Ted narrating the video in over-annunciated English. I spent the rest of the ride home laughing hysterically, even though it probably wasn't really that funny.

Friday, June 01, 2007

I heard a rumor...

My friend Rob told me today that he saw a Ramada Inn being built out near the sports complex... and he heard (and I want to stress that this is hearsay so as to not make people hate Rob when it turns out to be wrong) that there is also a...

STARBUCKS being built there!!!!



For the people playing at home, the closest Starbucks to me now is a three hour drive South to Qingdao. Now, at home I don't particularly love Starbucks, but in China having a Starbucks around, or any Western amenity for that matter... I'm talking to you, Subway in Beijing... just makes me happy.

And poor (Starbucks is still expensive here).
And fat (caramel macchiato goodness... droool).
But happy, nonetheless.

You'd better be right, Rob, or Lord help me...

开瑞坦 (Kai rui tan)

Oh Glorious Day!!

I have found the Chinese generic version of Claritin (Kai rui tan) in the pharmacy!! Same chemical formula and all, and it only costs $0.20 per pill as opposed to the $1.00 per pill the generic Walmart version costs at home!

I can breathe again, woohoo!!!!!